notes-on-thrivers

self-confidence - an outcome of doing well

• understand, value, and apply the Core Assets -> happier, and more resilient

# find & nurture your strengths

• personality features

+ friendliness

+ open-minded

+ reliable

• character traits

+ kindness

+ grit

+ patience

+ guileless / honest

+ 倔强

• alents and gifts

+ enjoy the beauty

+ logical thinking

+ 社会学

+ TOCHECK

• "哪一類事情自己輕而易舉"

• TO improve

+ poss power and money

• being better than others

+ 让自己在乎的人 感觉到 自己很在意她

• 表达

+ 商业思维

• 利益为先

+ 具体的经验

• how， not why

+ know how to filter out friends

# compensate for the weaknesses

• language

Empathy - think "we", not "me"

• help us care about each other and help bring out the humanity in the best possible way

• build relationship satisfaction

# affective empathy - feel with another

• recognize and feel others' emotions

• read nonverbal cues in facial expressions, gestures, posture, and vocie tone
• happy, sad, stressed, scared, frustrated, and angry
• ask

+ "How did that make you feel?"

+ "are you anxious, worried, sad?"

• share feelings in a safe way

+ "I'm frustrated with this book."

+ "I'm irritable ..."

• create family connections

+ "what was the best/hardest/most fun part of your day and why"

• listening fully
• look eye-to-eye or on the wall behind the speaker's head
• try to learn one common thing about the person or sth you have in common

+ "we both like ... "

+ "we had the same ..."

• label the feeling

+ "you sound stressed"

+ "you seem angry"

+ " you look happy"

+ "can I help", "I'm glad you told me"

# cognitive empathy - perspective taking

• step into her shoes, understand his view and take his perspective

• understand others' feelings, thoughts, and desires
• they can grasp others' needs

# behavioral empathy - act with compassion

• do something to help

• how to care
• console - "I'm sorry", "You didn't deserve that"
• assist - "Do u need help?"
• reassure - "I'm here for you"
• empathize - "I know how you feel"

self-control - control their focus, impulses, and thoughts

# Focus on what matters

• Notice your thoughts
• "What your body feels like"
• "What your ears hear"
• "what is happening right now"

• recoginze
• "How am I feeling" -> "what's causing it"
• take a slow, deep breath -> calm down

• positive self-talk
• "I think I can"
• "I can get through this"
• "I don't like it, but I can handle it"
• "Stay calm. Carry on"

• Stop, Think, Act Right

# self-management

# healthy decision-making

Integrity - be good people and do the right thing

• strong moral compasses
• know what's right, care about what's right, and do what's right
• this sets boundaries, resist temptations, and guide on how to act the right way
• it gives peace of mind when you do the right thing
• thus you are true to yourself and honest with others

• learn by example
• warmth, reasonable demands, and high responsiveness
• "You know our rules - I know you can do better."

Curiosity

reference

• [Thriver]